Monday, 25 February 2008
Still there :o)
For some time I've been getting messages from my body through various disconfort and even weird dreams, and so I went to the doctor, and the doctor found I had a woman chronic disease. nothing disastrous, but a condition serious enough for the Social Security to reimburse the treatment at 100%. I know I'm being unreeasonable but I've just realized that some day, I was going to die, and I'm feeling very afraid. I'm surprised because somehow the themes I was thinking about for my various bead/textile projects relate to illness.
On the other hand I was going to work on the remembrance theme for TIF. I'm old enough to remember the dismantling of the Berlin wall, the invention of the credit card (on Visa cards there is a holographic bird), the birth of my daughters, nephews and nieces... But this little voice kept nagging me. I'm also old enough to remember other events, like feeling that I was living in Hell and nobody would ever come and rescue me. Grace has courageously tackled something similar for her January BJP piece. I really admire her for that (amongst other things).
I feel I must do something on fear, I've been trying to do nice things since I began BJP and even TIF, I felt it would be rude to expose some emotions in the face of other people... But now I feel tiredness won't leave me until I face fear.
Apart from that, I'm OK :o)