Wednesday, 7 November 2007

Against all odds

Over time, I have heard many people (including myself) complaining about their parents, childhood and even their birth and in utero life, and I have also heard many people (including myself) complain about their ungrateful or difficult children. Each time I listen and nodd and never know quite what to say. But overtime I have come to realize that people (and I) can complain about just anything, and I find this baffling. Not that I think that complaining is bad, because behind these complaints there are emotions like pain, sorrow and repressed anger, and it makes you feel better and more human to share your thoughts and emotions, it makes the burden lighter. But somehow I wonder if somewhere there's somebody who has the perfect life, or has nothing to complain about.

Today, I read this piece by Clarissa Pinkola Estes :

"I think being born, no matter how a person came to be conceived, is like winning the lottery. Most of us were not planned. Some of us were not ‘wanted.’ Some of us arrived through a loveless act or a perfunctory one. Some of us came by accident. Some of us are called ‘the ooopsie baby.’ Some of us came from unsanctioned moments and are called ‘love child.’ Some of us were sick in utero, even sick unto death, but somehow recovered. And some of us, well…

More here.


KV said...

Thank you for posting Dr. Estes' article, Helene. I am glad to know that someone of her stature feels the same way I do about this subject. It has always been my stance that no one has the right to dictate to anyone whether or not a pregnancy should be terminated, that everyone should be able to make that decision for themselves.

We are much like her in that no matter when a pregnancy presented itself in our life, that baby was welcome. But that was our choice, not someone else's to make.

My oldest daughter is 40 and our youngest daughter is 28. I was 37 and 39 when the youngest two girls were born. If anyone had told me twenty years earlier that I would be having children at that age, I would have laughed at them!

But those last two daughters were the mainstay of our lives through so many difficult times. My oldest daughter and my son and I were able to deal so much better with the grieving process of my first husband's death when the little ones were 4 and 2 because of them.

My present husband and I had the delightful business of watching these two little girls grow up and become wonderful young women.

Bless you, Helene, for sharing so much with us today.

Kathy V in NM

Hélène H said...

Thank YOU, KV, for sharing with us. Hugs.